That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.